Roses, Chocolates & Imperfections

photo by Laura Nelson

by Sophie Tucker

It is that time of year again… Time for the heartfelt cards, ridiculously expensive bouquets of flowers, and boxes full of pastel-colored heart candies. Time to break out the romantic comedies, reruns of The Bachelor and all of the Nicholas Sparks movies (don’t they all seem to be the same movie just with different actors?). The couples always meet, fall in love and then end up living happily-ever-after together in a small house with a white, picket fence.

This is what the world is being taught about love. It tells us young women that love is weekly bouquets of flowers, spur of the moment date nights, and sweet notes left on the mirror every morning. It tells us that love is about making each other happy and fulfilling each other’s constant desires and needs. But once you become married, you realize that the directors of those movies and TV shows leave out a lot of stuff.

I sometimes find myself looking to Evan to fulfill every one of my heart’s desires. I look to him to be my biggest cheerleader, my best friend, my lover, my protector, my stronghold and much more. We have only been married for about six months and Evan has been so amazing when it comes to fulfilling those needs… But I know that there will be times when he will not be able to satisfy my every desire. This is where we get into trouble: when we put all of our hopes and desires on our husband’s shoulders. We are all humans and we all have shortfalls so it is not fair for us to put all of that pressure on them; likewise, it isn’t fair for our husbands to put all of their needs and desires on our shoulders. Can you imagine how heavy that would be?

I love this verse and I think it applies to many differing aspects of our lives- including our marriages:

“Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4

This does not mean that every want that we have will be given to us, BUT this does mean we can trust that the Lord has our best interest at heart and that He will provide us with what our heart needs to thrive for His kingdom. Instead of putting our hopes and desires into our husbands, who are sinners and who will undoubtedly let us down, we should put our hopes and trusts in the Lord. Why? Because our marriages should not be about how they make us feel. Our marriages should be a representation of God’s unrelenting relationship with us. Regardless of how many times we turn our backs on Him, He is always there to hold us in His arms and walk by our sides through anything.

When I find myself trusting in Evan rather than trusting in God I like to remind myself of various aspects of the Lord. These are just a few that often come to mind:

Almighty – Revelation 1:8
    “’I am the Alpha and the Omega,’ says the Lord God, ‘who is and who was and who is to come, the Almighty’.”

Rock – Psalm 19:14
  “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.”

Jehovah-Rophe (“Healer”) – Exodus 15:22-26
“If you will diligently listen to the voice of Lord your God, and do that which is right in his eyes, and give ear to his commandments and keep all his statutes, I will put none of the diseases on you that I put on the Egyptians, for I am the Lord, your healer” (verse 26).

Advocate – I John 2:1
“My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous.”

Infinite – Romans 11:33
“Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways!”

Jehovah-Jireh (“The God who provides”) – Genesis 22:9-14
So Abraham called the name of that place, “The Lord will provide”; as it is said to this day, “On the mount of the Lord it shall be provided” (verse 14).

Author and Finisher of our Faith – Hebrews 12:1-2
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.”

Let us put the desires of our hearts in the One who can fulfill all of our needs abundantly. Rather than letting Hollywood write the scripts of our lives, we should let the Author and Finisher of our Faith.